Dreamlopnik: Wrenching With Vader

Kinja'd!!! "Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager" (Nighthawkwill7)
11/04/2013 at 10:00 • Filed to: Dreamlopnik

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I know what you guys are thinking. "Why do you dream all this crazy stuff, William?"

The hell if I know. Anyhow, here we go again!

Apparently I'm at a Walmart that just happens to be inside of a tree house. I'm browsing the monster truck section (Because why not?) when I stumble on a business Carson the floor that reads "Imperium Auto Sales", only it shows the picture of a spacecraft of some sort not a car. On my way out of the Walmart, I encounter giant caterpillars which tell me that I should get going before the store closes as the local trees don't like after hours stragglers... Okay? I get into my car, which seems like a Tesla but it had a Viper engine fueled by nitroglycerin... Once again, Wut? I drive over to the "dealership" (actually a junkyard), quite quickly might I add (that Nitroglycerin Tesla Viper sure is fast!) and see the place swarming with stormtroopers. Initially I thought it had stumbled on a some automotive themed comic con but these were bonafide stormtroopers with fully functional blaster rifles! I walk in and head to the counter when I am suddenly greeted by none other than Darth Vader himself (!!!!!!!). He looks and me and in his mechanic baritone, asks me what took so long.

I wasn't sure what he meant but he explained to me that he had brought in his TIE Interceptor for servicing because it was making some rattling sound when it idled. I don't even work here but I decide to go take a look because it's best not to piss off Darth Vader. I get in the cockpit and Vader points out the general area of the noise, somewhere under the instrument panel. I disassemble the panel and see a bunch of arcade tokens near the base of the yoke. Vader looks at me and chuckles, no for real. Darth Vader laughed. Just let that sink in for a moment. You doing good? Splendid, let's continue shall we? "Those must be from the time I took Luke to Dave & Busters for his birthday. He's getting good at the pod racing game. What can I say? Like Father, like Son.".

I clear out the coins, reassemble the instrument panel and get out. Vader pays for the repairs with Imperial Credits and then flies off as a pair of landing craft arrive to take back the stormtroopers.

So I just repaired Darth Vader's interceptor, cool.


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